Tag Archives: beard

Mr. Incredibeard: Metaphysical Manscaper

mr incredibeard is a beard of action in the making

Feed your eyes at Mr. Incredibeard’s Tumblr.

Feed your soul at his Water for Children Charity.

1 Comment

December , 2013 · am

Gear’d: Captain Fawcett (CF.332) Private Stock Beard Oil

capt fawcett

With recipes purportedly deciphered from the travel journals of a Captain Peabody Fawcett (unrelated, we hope, to famed Nietzschean eugenicist Lt. Colonel Percy Harrison Fawcett), the modern eponymous firm Captain Fawcett Ltd. has developed an array of chin-centric products for today’s gentleman.  We have been recently using Captain Fawcett’s Beard Oil, and must say that the results have been favorable, indeed.

Though, in application, Captain Fawcett’s Beard Oil operates identically to the many others that we have, at one time or another, applied to our face-nethers, it has found its way into our morning sundries rotation.  Captain Fawcett’s oil provides a close enough so as to be practically equal amount of sheen and moisturizing to others we have tried, and bestows, despite our always high hopes, no preternatural growth or abilities, and yet we do find ourselves favoring this precious bottle.  Why, you ask.  Because Captain Fawcett’s Beard Oil smells extraordinary.

Exotic, yet refined, the aromas of patchouli, lemongrass, and cedar linger throughout the day, whispering –not shouting– suggestions of distant dirt-floor markets and unknown shores.  Without overpowering, the way some colognes will, Captain Fawcett Beard Oil’s subtle fragrance remains on the delicate side of the spectrum, more suitable for slacks than denim.  However, the spell this oil casts is potent enough to make even us consider purchasing a set of khakis and taking up adventuring for ourselves, were it not for the sudden and marked escalation of swooning women to occupy us at the present.

If you would like to try a beard salve that’s slightly off the beaten path, we can happily recommend giving Captain Fawcett’s Private Stock Beard Oil a try.

See Captain Fawcett’s website for more details on ordering and other bespoke products.

Captain Fawcett’s informational film on You Tube


Filed under Gear'd Supply

“To be free requires cognizance of not just one’s unbeckoned volitions and appetites, but release from these constraints. And when you cast off your social and self-imposed burdens, you find and recognize, at your core, your most basic motivators and natural self. Even the most groomed beards reflect this primeval stuggle for freedom.”

Leave a comment

Filed under The Proverbs

LOW: On the One Percent

Just because the one percent is inevitable doesn't mean you should be a d!ck about it.  One percent net worth pareto economics income gap beard comic hurk.

Leave a comment

November , 2013 · am

“Though we love the beard, we do hate the word, for it is the invention of terms like beard or wilderness that has separated man spiritually from his natural condition.”

Leave a comment

Filed under The Proverbs

Beard of Action: Rick Grimes

it is the beard who shall lead thee rick grimes walking dead beard
The post-apocalyptic everyman, Rick Grimes, gives all Beardivists an intimate, albeit marginally dramatized, glimpse into the social and moral adversity we face on a day-to-day basis, and the devastating toll it wreaks on the irresolute or unprincipaled among us.  Though beleaguered by misanthropes and besieged by miscreations, Grimes’ bristly lodestar guides him and his companions tirelessly and chin-first through worldwide cataclysm and devastating psychological trauma.  If not for his itchy bastion of seemingly obsolete values, we have no doubt that this last beacon of humanity would have been speedily and summarily extinguished.  For his remarkable leadership in times of great peril, we hereby name Rick Grimes an end-of-the-world Beard of Action.

1 Comment

Filed under Beards of Action

Top Entries at the 2013 Beard and Mustache Championships

A taste:

mymodernmetFor more hirsute morsels, check out My Modern Met’s coverage of the event.

Leave a comment

September , 2013 · am