Terminalbeard (of terminalbeard.wordpress.com) recently shared some fascinating thoughts and measurements after a full year of unrestricted facial hair growth at his internet blog. He has not limited his quest for terminal length solely to whiskers, however; TB began his journey twelve months ago with a completely blank canvas: head, chin, even eyebrows. The resulting growth measurements will surely prove useful to research here, at The Center for Beard Related Studies, but we imagine that, as TB’s fieldwork progresses, the rest of the scientific and academic community will take note. To read more of the journey, and see the measured results for yourself, please head over to Terminalbeard’s Here is the Yeard. Beard on, indeed.
When a small child asks “Father, why aren’t Beardivists just born with beards?” he responds “The one iron law and most cruel irony of Nature is the scarcity of ‘Good’ things. That which comes without toil or sacrifice is not recognized by a Yet-To-Beard as ‘Good’, until they are deprived of it. Thus, the Great Beard in the Sky does not abide us to bristle until we prove our gratitude for even the least of favors He has bestowed upon us. Then are we allowed His greatest gift of all.” If the child objects, deprive it of potable waters.
As always, Keith Flett (founder of the Beard Liberation Front) has some insightful, though somewhat controversial, thoughts to share. We at The Center for Beard Related Studies are, of course, always wary of the chin-centric fetishism that does crop up now and then within our halls and we are quick to correct the behavior. But then again, we must also admit that we do enjoy indulging in the occasional whiskery fireworks display (photo above provided for demonstrative purposes). Undoubtedly, the potential social perversion to which Flett refers can be avoided with appropriate public education and awareness. We at The Center for Beard Related Studies are happy to oblige.
Read on at Kmflett’s blog.
For more hirsute morsels, check out My Modern Met’s coverage of the event.
When a young child asks “Father, who is in charge of Beardivism” he responds “Even you, child, hold the power of Beardivism. To some, power is a zero sum game. They believe that becoming more powerful implies reducing the power of others. To the Beardivist, true power is a capacity to motivate, to influence without diminishing the influenced. Mankind is just like so many whiskers. Be the styling wax, child, not the shears.” If the child objects, persuade it.
Though we detect that portions of this public service announcement may be delivered somewhat tongue-in-cheek, we find it to be an entertaining, albeit quick, film: