Rearing a Beardivist #13

When a small child asks “Father, why aren’t Beardivists just born with beards?” he responds “The one iron law and most cruel irony of Nature is the scarcity of ‘Good’ things.  That which comes without toil or sacrifice is not recognized by a Yet-To-Beard as ‘Good’, until they are deprived of it.  Thus, the Great Beard in the Sky does not abide us to bristle until we prove our gratitude for even the least of favors He has bestowed upon us.  Then are we allowed His greatest gift of all.”  If the child objects, deprive it of potable waters.

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