The Trifold Path of Beardivism

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My Dear Beardivist Acolytes,

As the leaves in the trees begin to turn and the wind blows promise of cooler weather on the way, there comes a time at the beginning of every fall semester when we at The Center for Beard Related Studies find it necessary to review The Path for our newest initiates.  The lessons of the coming school year will be, without a doubt, numerous and complex, but the following are the most essential of tenants to our teachings.  In the absence of all else that you shall learn here, remember only The Path:

Resolve without Tyranny

What one has not resolved to do, one cannot celebrate when done.  What one cannot do without tyranny, one cannot celebrate at all.  Walking the righteous path requires power over oneself, but not power over others.  Though you do not demand the approval or acceptance of others in your Bearding, you do Beard despite their advice or judgement.

Patience without Apathy

It is the patient Beardivist who finds his reward daily in modest progress and who thus accomplishes great strides by small steps. Apathy is the great enemy of patience, for both the patient and impatient alike may follow The Path, while those who do not care, wander and are lost.  Beard without haste, but do not allow leisure to beget complacence.

Humility without Self-deprecation

The humble Beardivist does not overestimate his worth, for in doing so, he denies himself the opportunity to improve; and yet, self-deprecation does as much harm as arrogance.  To deceive oneself about one’s place is to obscure the view of one’s destination.  Your beard, as is the beard of everyman, is unique to your chin but also the same; rejoice in your brotherhood but celebrate your individuality.

With my most resolved, patient, and humble enthusiasm, I do welcome you, Class of 2017.

Yours always,

HJ Whiskersmith

Associate Dean of Communications
The Center for Beard Related Studies and

Dictated.  Not Read.

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