Rearing a Beardivist #10

If a small child asks “Father, why are beards so scratchy?” he responds “Alas, child, the Beard has not always been so scratchy.  There was a time before the modern aspect, when a man’s appearance was its own reward, when food grew unbidden from the earth and the stars hung so low overhead that they swayed at a man’s passing.  It was a time of downy comfort and soft whiskers.  But then came the insolence and…The Shaving.”  The last line is delivered with a shudder.  If the child looks frightened or guilty, reward yourself with a good itch.


Filed under Child Rearing

2 responses to “Rearing a Beardivist #10

    • We thank you! Fear and guilt are the two most effective means to indoctrination we’ve thus far discovered. It is only natural they be tested on children.

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