Though it strays from traditional eulogic format, Oliver’s canonization of his late growth over at Literature and Libation is a touching memorial to what must have been a cherished beard. Invoking bristle-lore from pirates to Plato along the way, Oliver celebrates and relives the memories shared, instead of dwelling on the dark demise of his woolen companion.
However, there are those who would point out that it was Oliver himself who murdered his chin-folk. They might say the occasional itch is a paltry fee for admission to the wonders of Beardom. Undoubtedly, some learned person would decry the projections of this ESB beverage as cannibalistic transubstantiation. But we’ll brook no such discussion here.
Oliver, you have our sympathies in this, your time of grieving. May your stubble rise like the Phoenix to swiftly usher you back into our warm, murmuring fold, which is also sometimes prickly.
Read the full eulogy over at Literature and Libation:
Review: Magic Hat Wooly ESB (with Spruce!).